SANTA CLARA – Some of these teams still think they have a chance. It’s cute.
As the fight for playoff seeding heats up, so does the not-so-elegant race to the bottom.
With four weeks remaining in the 2024 regular season, there’s not much any of these teams can do to surprise us.
Here’s where the 49ers sit after a 38-13 victory against the Chicago Bears and heading into week 15.
32. New York Giants (last week: 32)
Registration: 2-11
It’s not worth my time. It’s not worth your time. Following.
31. Las Vegas Raiders (last week: 30)
Registration: 2-11
There’s a Raiders fan somewhere starting his version of the Browns quarterback roster jersey. It’s getting pretty long after these last two seasons. Stay the course, lose games and pick a new one in the spring.
30. Jacksonville Jaguars (last week: 31)
Recording: 3-10
This was not a match you wanted to win against another bottom feeder. MacJones did everything in its power to lose, but the Jacksonville defense picked the wrong time to show up.
29. Tennessee Titans (last week: 28)
Recording: 3-10
Going against a defense as terrible as Jacksonville’s and scoring only six points takes skill. A truly impressive, yet crude, dedication to the tank.
28. New England Patriots (last week: 29)
Recording: 3-10 (Goodbye week)
If two words describe the 2024 Patriots, it’s “ethical tanking.” When you try your best, but it’s just not enough. Respectable.
27. Cleveland Browns (last week: 26)
Recording: 3-10
When James Winston said he was “praying for the Lord to deliver me from choices six“, he wasn’t talking about interceptions in general. The ones he can never escape.
26. New York Jets (last week: 25)
Recording: 3-10
The last time the Jets made the playoffs (2010), Aaron Rodgers won his one and only Super Bowl the following year. Today, 13 years later, misery still loves company.
25. Carolina Panthers (last week: 27)
Recording: 3-10
Another impressive performance for Bryce Young and Carolina against an elite team. That Xavier Legette the fall may have stung, but it will help position the project.
24. Chicago Bears (last week: 23)
Recording: 4-9
I think Caleb Williams maybe the guy. Really. But this season is shaping up to be a big disappointment. The organization needs to do some soul searching this offseason.
23. New Orleans Saints (last week: 24)
Recording: 5-8
You can get away with an extra year of Derek Carr as a bridge quarterback. Max. But it’s time to start looking at the project because it’s long overdue. Anyone with value, and there aren’t many, should be traded this offseason.
22. Dallas Cowboys (last week: 22)
Recording: 5-8
With Rico Dowdle going wild, Cooper Rush and this offense should be able to hang around in most games. Their defense, however, won’t do it.
21. Cincinnati Bengals (last week: 21)
Recording: 5-8
THE Joe Burrow–Ja’Marr Chase The connection is the best in football, and it’s not particularly tight. Cincy’s very faint playoff hopes are alive.
20. Indianapolis Colts (last week: 18)
Registration: 6-7 (Goodbye week)
Anthony Richardson is a loose cannon, which makes every game a draw. It will get you in or out of a game in an instant. However, he has played a little better since the start of the season.
19. Arizona Cardinals (last week: 17)
Registration: 6-7
There is an uncomfortable Kyler Murray conversation that awaits them in the offseason. He’s just not what he used to be, and I’m not sure what the answer is.
18. Atlanta Falcons (last week: 16)
Registration: 6-7
Kirk Cousins has thrown no touchdowns and eight interceptions in his last four games. Atlanta is now behind in the division and will likely remain that way for the rest of the season.
17. Miami Dolphins (last week: 20)
Registration: 6-7
Just because Tua Tagovailoa can do everything with his arm, that doesn’t mean he should. A racing game would be nice. A big win for a team that simply can’t afford to lose.
16. San Francisco 49ers (last week: 19)
Registration: 6-7
After two weeks of humiliation and total despair, this “resounding 49ers” victory was written all over it. Seriously. This result was very predictable. There is too much pride within the organization, they must have taken their anger out on someone. There’s a 9-8 finish written all over it.
15. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (last week: 15)
Registration: 7-6
They have officially moved ahead of the spiraling Falcons and can enjoy an easy path to the division title. That is, if they don’t trip. The suddenly frisky Panthers have a chance to do the funniest thing in Week 17.
14. Los Angeles Rams (last week: 14)
Registration: 7-6
Well, that’s certainly a winning statement. There are now two serious teams in the NFC West. Kyren Williams continues to be a touchdown machine, even if he doesn’t run as well.
13. Denver Broncos (last week: 12)
Registration: 8-5 (Goodbye week)
Bo Nix is having fun there, and we are having fun watching it. Looks like he’s close to leading Denver back to the playoffs.
12. Washington Commanders (last week: 11)
Registration: 8-5 (Goodbye week)
If the season ended today, Jayden Daniels and the ‘Manders would be in the playoffs. We should learn a lot about what the rookie is made of as time goes on.
11. Seattle Seahawks (last week: 13)
Registration: 8-5
The future is here with Zach Charbonnet And Jaxson Smith-Njigba opening the way. This team is nothing special, but it looks like they will have a playoff game. It’s their turn to lose the division.
10. Los Angeles Chargers (last week: 9)
Registration: 8-5
I’m going to keep beating the “Justin Herbert doesn’t have the fanfare every time they lose, because that might be the only reason they aren’t a legitimate championship contender in my eyes. The only one. They’re just as good everywhere else, except they have one major flaw.
9. Houston Texans (last week: 10)
Registration: 8-5 (Goodbye week)
Hopefully CJ Stroud and his weapons can use the bye week to get on the same page, because this hasn’t been the Texas offense we envisioned in year two.
8. Baltimore Ravens (last week: 8)
Registration: 8-5 (Goodbye week)
Baltimore historically hasn’t had to worry much about its defense or kicker in recent years, but that’s not the case this season. Surely neither will harm them in the long run…right?
7. Green Bay Packers (last week: 6)
Registration: 9-4
A very difficult defeat, but against the best in the league, a defeat they can be happy about. They never won the division anyway.
6. Pittsburgh Steelers (last week: 7)
Record: 10-3
Russell Wilson is a winner. Put him in a winning situation, and that’s exactly what he’ll do. Even if it’s not always pretty.
5. Buffalo Bills (last week: 3)
Record: 10-3
Josh Allen had SIX total touchdowns, but the defense was absolutely atrocious. Can you blame them? They are outdoor cats, not indoor cats.
4. Minnesota Vikings (last week: 5)
Record: 11-2
The greatest game of Sam Darnold’s NFL career began in Week 14 of the 2024 season, where his team is fighting for the first place in the conference. Imagine saying that to someone two years ago.
3. Philadelphia Eagles (last week: 4)
Record: 11-2
A very Chiefs-esque win against Carolina, but another win nonetheless. There is a path to the No. 1 seed, but they will need help.
2. Kansas City Chiefs (last week: 2)
Record: 12-1
Congratulations on another close victory, I guess. It turns out they can still get away with it. I have a feeling their wizardry might end in the playoffs.
1. Detroit Lions (last week: 1)
Record: 12-1
OK, we understand. You are the best football team. They control their own destiny to become the top seed, but it won’t be easy. Key matchups remain against the Bills, Bears, 49ers and Vikings. They can’t afford to let go now.
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