There’s a common culprit behind many unfulfilled New Year’s resolutions and other unfulfilled goals, and it can influence your thoughts and actions without you knowing, says Safia Debar, MBBS, general practitioner and resilience expert at Mayo Clinic Healthcare in London. If you’re having difficulty meeting your goals of exercising more, eating nutritious meals, and taking other steps toward a healthier lifestyle, it may be helpful to ask yourself if a self-limiting belief is to blame, says Dr. Debar.
In this expert alert, Dr. Debar offers strategies to identify and neutralize this obstacle to success.
A self-limiting belief is a thought or belief that you hold as the truth about yourself or the world around you that limits you from your full potential, she explains.
“It’s basically a truth that you hold about yourself that doesn’t serve you,” says Dr. Debar. “Some self-limiting beliefs might be that you can’t lose weight, that you have a sweet tooth. Well, really, no one has a sweet tooth. Other self-limiting beliefs might be that you’re lazy, that you don’t can’t exercise, you hate the gym Well, you can leave the gym to exercise.
The first step toward eliminating a self-limiting belief is to become aware of it, says Dr. Debar. This may require some reflection, because self-limiting beliefs tend to be present without your knowledge, and your mind is remarkably good at seeking out, and sometimes even creating, evidence to confirm them, she adds.
“For example, if someone feels like they want to eat healthier or fit more movement into their day, but underneath it all they feel like they’re not good enough or that they doesn’t deserve to take care of themselves or is not worthy of prioritizing their health and the needs of others are more important, then they will sabotage positive lifestyle changes that would benefit them. useful,” explains Dr. Debar. “They will sabotage. these behaviors because it makes sense: ‘Why should I eat well if I’m not worth it? Why should I set a limit or put myself first if I’m not worth it?'”
Since underlying beliefs can strongly influence the behavioral changes you want to make, the ideal is to know what those beliefs are and ask yourself whether or not they are serving you, says Dr. Debar. Writing your thoughts in a journal or discussing them with someone you trust can help, she suggests.
“Any time something happens, a dynamic, anything that has an emotional charge, it’s always a really good opportunity to ask yourself and journal: What is the story that you’re telling yourself? What are you thinking? of yourself?” she said. “I call it a thought dump, or a stream of consciousness. When something happens, just write down what’s on your mind. Then when you read it again, if there are any known thought distortions, it will tell you if it is a limiting belief Then you begin to know your internal narrative.
For example, challenging the belief that you can’t lose weight might include the following:
–Where did I learn that I can’t lose weight?
–Where did I see that?
–Am I fully informed about the actual weight loss process?
–What emotion am I trying to feel or what emotion am I trying to avoid?
Often, people discover that their limiting beliefs don’t come from themselves at all, but rather from teachers, caregivers, family members, society, culture or other sources, explains Dr Debar.
Then, identify small steps you can take to reach your goal, she recommends. The brain doesn’t like change. So it’s about taking small, regular, consistent actions and being aware of your internal dialogue so that you expect resistance, but remember why you want to make the change and challenge the beliefs that hold you back. block,” explains Dr. Debar.
“We start by saying we’re going to exercise every day, cut down on alcohol, wake up at 5 a.m., meditate for 45 minutes, be the kindest person ever, then two weeks later, we realize all these emotions are coming up and all this resistance is showing up,” she explains. “A better approach would be to ask yourself what the most important goal is, and then approach it in small steps. If you want to exercise, for example, start with a few minutes a day, where you don’t think not that it’s a significant change from what you were doing before Five minutes a day will mean you’ve formed a habit, which will then promote the belief that you’re keeping your promise, you’re being consistent.
Dr. Debar recommends breaking down a series of healthy lifestyle changes starting with the simplest thing you can do. If your goal is to eat healthier meals, start by trying to eat an extra serving of fruits or vegetables each day, and after a few weeks, you will then be able to consider yourself a person who eats fruits and vegetables. , who loves fruits and vegetables.
“It’s a very different approach than someone who starts trying to do everything and two weeks later feels very demoralized and, paradoxically, will just dig deeper into the things they don’t want to do and make her feel bad themselves,” explains Dr. Debar.
The good thing about the new year is that it gives people momentum and a little more willpower, she says.
“But we cannot rely on willpower to change behavior,” adds Dr. Debar. “It has to start with a small, incremental, consistent change.”
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