Today, it seems we all aspire to the “perfect” life, and even fake it. However, when we inevitably fail to do so, we end up feeling defeated.
I hear self-pity statements like “Just when things are getting better, something goes wrong” or “I’m still waiting for the shoe to drop” quite often – and I find myself use them too. Often we believe that once we obtain this thing – this person, this job, or this material object – we will finally be happy.
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Life doesn’t work like that.
Instead, we ebb and flow over the years, never achieving perfection. True happiness is not devoid of pain or sorrow. In fact, it’s these darker days that help us appreciate the brighter days.
What exactly is the “commuter lifestyle”?
Dr. Jeffrey Karp, Ph.D, professor of biomedical engineering at Harvard Medical School at Brigham & Women’s Hospital in Boston, coined the term “commuter lifestyle” to address this exact sentiment. He spoke with Fox News Digital on the concept.
Karp defines this approach as one that “recognizes the natural ebbs and flows of life and allows you to thrive amidst the fluctuations.”
“We are rarely in balance… it’s just unrealistic and an anxiety-inducing expectation,” he told Fox News Digital.
By adopting the swing lifestyle, people can find ways to feel more balanced in their bodies and routines. Rather than expecting each season of life to be bright and joyful, they can embrace disappointments or stressful times with strength, grace, and hope for the future.
“Looking at nature, there are so many cycles, so many things that come and go, like night and day…. the changing seasons and the waxing and waning of the moon,” Karp told Fox News Digital.
Understanding your energy levels
When it comes to our physical, emotional and mental energy levels, we rarely find that they are all at 10. This is simply not sustainable.
For example, as a woman, I’ve learned to accept that my body looks and feels different depending on where I am in my cycle. Rather than beating myself up for lacking energy or feeling depressed, I try to adapt to each phase and prioritize balance over perfection.
According to Karp, the pendulum approach encourages daily “self-check-ins.” During these reflections, people can assess their different energy levels and find ways to balance anything out of balance.
“If we can visualize everything on a pendulum, we can think, ‘What action could I take today to move the pendulum a little bit closer to where I want it to be?'” Karp told Fox News Digital. “When you start to realize that you’re not limited to being at this place on the pendulum, but that you can take a step forward and be intentional, it’s so empowering.”