The subject of the way in which young Nigerians sail in romantic relationships with their gains is a field of hotties of hot. In Love currencyWe are entering relations between income sections in different cities.
How long have you been with your partner?
Mandy and I have been going out together for a little over two years. We will mark our third anniversary in October.
How did you meet?
We frequented the same secondary school, but we were in different sets, so we did not know each other before we met at the meeting of the elders of our school in September 2022.
We exchanged figures and made a few cinema dates before asking him to be my girlfriend. I actually asked him twice; She first said no, but I asked again a few weeks later, and she said yes.
Do you know why she said right?
It was my fault. We went out to eat in a quick place, and the cashier accidentally billed me an additional ₦ 1K. I say “accidentally”, but I think it was deliberate. These guys like to overload people, hoping that they do not notice it.
I noticed and created a scene because the cashier tried to act without knowing. The case was finally resolved, but Mandy had found it all embarrassing. I asked her to be my girlfriend later in the evening, and she said no.
He came out of nowhere. We vibrated before this date. I asked to know why and she said it was because of the way I acted. I apologized and things came back to normal. When I asked later, she said yes.
What were your financial situations and Mandy at the time?
I was an independent writer on Upwork and I sometimes worked remotely with an agency in Lagos. My monthly income was generally ₦ 300K – ₦ 350K minimum. Things were not as bad as they are now, so it was good money. However, you won’t know how to look at me. I was – and I am still – very frugal and I saved my money.
When we started going out together, Mandy did not understand my frugal nature. She was a member of the body whose only income was what she manufactured from NYSC: ₦ 33K Allawee and ₦ 15k of her PPA, but she still managed to buy what she wanted.
Mandy can use her latest ₦ 2K to satisfy a desire for Shawarma and damn the consequences. Me, on the other hand, I can have ₦ 200k, and rather than satisfy my desire, I convince myself that I didn’t really want Shawarma, so I can save money. Mandy was confused by this. She would be, “Are you allergic to yourself?” What is the point of making money if you can’t take advantage of it from time to time?
Did you think she could have a point?
I understand where it comes from, but the need to save money and spend only on the most important things has become a part of me.
Growing up, my father was a chronic debtorAnd people have often driven her for their money. It was always embarrassing for the family, and I never want to be in this situation. So, I prefer to save too much than spend too much.
Mandy knows it, and she understands me better now. She hardly wonders why I no longer like to spend money, but we sometimes do not agree when she wants us to do things involving money and that I refuse.
Things like what?
Generally dates. Mandy likes to go out, and for a while now, she has been trying to get us out. She complains that I was more on dates before starting to go out together, and now I don’t want to do it anymore.
The truth is that I don’t see the interest. These initial dates were necessary because we got to know each other, and I wanted her to be my girlfriend. We are going out now and we see each other every day.
She even spends more time in my apartment because she has no good relations with her roommate. So what is the point of taking dates, then? It looks like a waste of money.
This does not make sense to spend under another roof to spend money in the name of wanting to spend time together on a date.
I guess Mandy does not agree with this thought
She definitely does not agree, and this often causes friction between us. Whenever she brings up the dates and I refuse, she sulks for a few days and accuses me of taking it for acquired. I apologize and catch up with her with notes of food or love, and she finally forgives me.
Interestingly, we barely quere, but when we do it, it’s always a question of money. When she does not complain about dates, I complained about her money habits. Mandy has finished nysc and now wins ₦ 100,000 ₦, but she has always exploded by the third week of the month because she believes you have to take advantage of her money.
I scream
My girlfriend can collect her salary today and suddenly remembers that she wants something or sees something online that she thinks I would be fine. I am always on the neck to save money, and it sometimes leads to disputes, but it does not listen.
The only time she listened to my opinion on her finances was when she borrowed money from a loan application last year, and they started to disturb her. I warned her that I would leave her in an instant if she ever became a regular user of loan applications. She no longer borrowed money from them, to my knowledge.
When she needs additional money, she turns to her parents or brothers and sisters because she knows that I will give her a conference on financial discipline if she comes to me. At this point, I have just accepted that I am the savings and the financial planner of the relationship.
I mean, someone must be. Does your financial planning include romantic gifts and stuff?
Not really. Besides the birthday gifts, the maximum I make is to send him sometimes ₦ 10k, especially when I know that she is really broke. However, I have reduced it since 2024 because I no longer win as much as before.
I do not receive as much work concerts as before, so I have gone from occasional staff to a full -time role at the Lagos agency that I mentioned earlier. I always take independent concerts if they come, but my only safe income is 180k, and that does not leave room to spend anyway. My safety net cannot be built.
Speaking, what does your safety net look like now?
I currently have ₦ 12m in my savings. It may seem a lot, but it is actually not. The goal is to build my own house and still stay enough money to stay. So, I still have a long way to go.
I’m very sure that Mandy has no safety net, but she has the freedom not to think about it too deeply. She is a woman and does not have to worry about having enough money to create a house. This is the problem of man.
What is your ideal financial future as a couple?
Have as many properties as possible. Mandy and I will probably get married in the next two years, and I often tell him that we will only make a living room wedding so that we can save money and invest in real estate instead.
I’m sure she thinks I’m kidding, but my mind is invented. Real estate is our future; A marriage is only a temporary and useless expense. If she does not finally agree with this, it will be a major break for me.
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*The names have been modified for anonymity.
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