This revolution in the common sense of sport will undoubtedly be controversial, but it is necessary. We will resume our sports.
Now, I decreed:
▪ All baseball matches in the playoffs will be played in the afternoon.
▪ From that day, there will only be two ways to score points in basketball: free throws and goals on the field in 2 points. I eliminate the shot at 3 points. End of history.
▪ More offside in hockey or football. Open these games.
▪ More analysis services. Dependence on analysis in sports purposes.
▪ More “additional time” of corruption in football. There will be a clock that hugs at 0:00, just like in football, basketball and hockey.
▪ The kicks of the NFL will return to the good old days when men were men.
▪ the Calipari statue Descend to Amherst.
▪ More NFL or MLB games offered only on streaming services.
▪ Electronic identification for all NFL games. This no longer means blatant favoritism for the Chefs or any other team The League wants to promote for its vital events.
▪ A come back to Oakland.
▪ NBA officials will apply “palm” violations.
▪ From that day, the “step in Euro” will be a traveling violation.
▪ World basketball coaches must sit on the bench at any time unless they call a waiting period.
▪ The “tash push” is prohibited by these.
▪ Gold medals will be presented to the 1972 US Olympic male basketball team.
▪ Luis Tiant will be devoted At the baseball renowned temple.
▪ At the secondary, college and professional level, all facilities and equipment for girls / women will be equal to boys / men.
▪ War is abolished. WAR . . . Why is it good? Absolutely nothing! Say it again, all of you!
▪ Interference of fans on the bullets at stake will cause life prohibitions for PERPS.
▪ More the hand of congratulations slaps the teammates after a failed franc launch.
▪ Fifteen yards penalties for the NFL defenders who are celebrated after having carried out a routine tackle which led to a long gain or a first try.
▪ Sound systems of the stadium / arena must stop and abstain with audio porn to burst by ear.
▪ Starting launchers of the major league must remain in the match for at least five rounds.
▪ Secondary coaches and small colleges who increase the score or who do not find playing time for “bench kids” will be sanctioned by suspensions.
Once these decrees have been signed, I will publish pardons of Cooperstown, ending the serious national injustices forced to the great baseball which were refused their legitimate place in the temple of renown because of this silly “character” clause.
Shoeless Joe Jackson and Pete Rose will be the first to enter the pearly doors of the room. They will be followed by Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens – the greatest striker and launcher of their generation, respectively.
Manny Ramirez will be pardoned. Of course, Manny failed three drug screening tests, but he was tried and aggressively tried and sentenced. He has already been forced to wait for the room for too long. Manny was the largest right striker from Jimmie Foxx and must be inscribed immediately.
Carlos Beltrán, who is unfairly offbeat for this Small thing cheating in Houstonwill be pardoned immediately. Same thing with Jose Altuve, even if he still plays. I want to make sure that Altuve has the immunity of the can-give waste stain when its time on the ballot arrives.
This should be sufficient for the first day of my reign. I will need more time to plan the rest.
As for major university sports, let me apologize in advance. There are no decrees that can repair such a well broken system. Charlie Baker cannot fix it And the king of sports either. It’s too far. Sorry.
▪ Quiz: 1: This year’s Super Bowl represents a revenge match for head coaches Andy Reid and Nick Sirianni. Name four other duos that have trained against each other in more than one super bowl; 2. Name six Bruins who have scored 50 or more goals in a season; 3. Name seven baseball baseball temple that won the recruit of the year, MVP, and a golden glove. (Answers below.)
▪ Too beautiful to be the real department: the Star of Country Music Jason Aldean brings his “Full Throttle 2025 tour to Fenway Park as part of his series of concerts on May 30. I don’t invent that. More than a year and a half after Tom Werner’s false absurd promise before the winter of life of 2023-24, the Soxs bring to Fenway “at full speed” in Fenway.
▪ Buffalo invoices today are the Red Sox before 2004 with the chiefs playing the role of the evil empire, Sean McDermott as Grady Little and Dalton Kincaid as Bill Buckner. It is difficult not to feel bad for bills and their fans.
▪ SAQUON BARKLEY is the BETTS Mookie of the Giants of New York.
▪ There is something that does not go with an NBA calendar that offers Knicks at Celtics during the opening party In October, then made us wait until February 8 to see them playing.
▪ Did Red Auerbach speak to go for an “eight peat” when the Celtics opted for their eighth consecutive NBA crown during the 1965-66 season?
▪ If the patriots have done as well on the ground As they do before the courtsThey would be in the Super Bowl each year.
▪ Speaking of patriots, when did the krafts transformed into Sullivans?
▪ Imagine the braid to be named Steinbrenner (hal, in this case), and Say the network yes“It is difficult for most of us that owners to do the kind of things that do (dodgers). We will see if it is paying. Wow. Lips from George Steinbrenner’s son!
▪ Tom Brady, who has part of the raiders, finally had the chance to thank Pete Carroll for giving him a Super Bowl ring 10 years ago in Arizona. He was pumped and marked Pete who made the Worse call for play in the history of sportChoosing to throw a tilting pass in traffic instead of putting the ball back to Marshawn Lynch in the last seconds of the Super Bowl XLIX. Carroll, seventy-three, is the new Raiders head coach.
▪ The new Jaguars head coach, Liam Coen, was a quarter-Arrière at Umass from 2005 to 2008.
▪ The new GM of the Titans is Mike Borgonzi d’EverettWho was a fully scholastic world footballer, played four years in Brown, was a recruitment coordinator at Boston College and resulted in tight ends in Amherst before making his bones as the NFL frame. Borgonzi has a chance to select Sheder Sanders with the first choice of this year’s draft.
▪ Make yourself in Robo-ups calling balls and strikes During spring training matches. The system was used in minors, but this spring marks the first time that it is tested with players from the major league. More than 60% of grapefruit and league cactus matches will present the automated strike area. The system is available in 8 of the 13 spring ball parks in Florida. (JetBlue Park is not one of them.) All MLB players are planned to make their size officially measured in mid-February.
▪ Gotta admitted, I am a little surprised and disappointed that Curt Schilling was not appointed in any office of cabinet. Schill’s confirmation audience would have been classic.
▪ The team of St. John’s, the 15th row of Rick Pitino, beat Georgetown, 66-41, Tuesday. The Johnnies had early tracks of 23-3 and 41-11.
▪ Excellent news: the start of the male basketball final of the NCAA of this year was moved from 9:20 am to the east at 8:50 am.
▪ If you are at Legal Sea Foods, try a bourque beer, a golden lager named and supported by the defender of beloved Bruins Ray Bourque. A dollar of each beer goes to the Bourque family foundation.
▪ Golf tournaments on television take too long.
▪ Quiz replies: 1. Andy Reid and Kyle Shanahan, Bill Belichick and Tom Cochlin, Jimmy Johnson and Marv Levy, Chuck Noll and Tom Landry; 2: Phil Esposito, Johnny Bucyk, Ken Hodge, Rick Middleton, Cam Neely, David Pastrnak; 3: Willie Mays, Frank Robinson, Johnny Bench, Andre Dawson, Cal Ripken Jr., Jeff Bagwell, Ichiro Suzuki.
Dan Shaughnessy is a columnist for the globe. It can be reached at daniel.shaughnessy@globe.com. Follow him @dan_shaughnessy.