- Sean O’Grady is Head of Trust and Safety at Pocket Worlds.
- Before that, he worked at TikTok.
- He says there are good resources to help parents understand the complexity of online safety.
This essay as told is based on a conversation with Sean O’Gradyresponsible for trust and security at Pocket Worlds. It has been edited for length and clarity.
When I was younger, video games played a huge role in my life. My brother and I loved it imaginary worlds into which our Nintendo has taken us through games like Mario and Zelda. I spent long nights with my uncle playing Tetris. Later, PC games like Civilization fueled my love of history and inspired me to learn more about the societies that shaped our world.
As an adult, I became interested in both the promises and dangers of the Internet, online gamesand applications. I have come to think of the Internet as the ocean: it is a marvel but also very dangerous. Finding your way there is very complex.
I worked in trust and safety at TikTokand now in the company that manages Great heightan online game aimed primarily at young women. I’m also a girl dad – my daughters are 4 and 7 – so I’m thinking more about online safety, not just for my kids but for all young people. Here’s how all parents can help keep their children and teens safe online.
Fostering resilience in children
My wife would like our children to never play online because she thinks it’s safer. I just don’t think it’s realistic. Eliminate screen time entirely for children or teenagers put them behind.
Instead, we must foster resilience in children and adolescents. Speak clearly with them about the dangers that exist online, just as you do about the dangers of the real world. Develop their digital literacy and remind them that they should never accept cyberbullying or other harmful behavior. Remind children that they can always come to you if they are uncomfortable with behavior online, just as they would if they encountered this behavior at school.
Don’t let the internet take away from the real world
I served in the army in Iraq and Afghanistan. When we were deployed, the game could offer a break from a very harsh reality. It was a good thing, but I quickly noticed the addictive side of things. People stayed up until 3 a.m. playing when they had to be on duty at 5 a.m. Their performance suffered.
Parents need to know how online games and activities impact teenagers’ real lives. As games have become more complex, it has become easier to immerse yourself in them. Teenagers can easily lose track of time and the responsibilities they have to take on.
Discuss anonymity
When my generation played, we didn’t have the option of being anonymous because the person we were playing with was sitting next to us on the couch. Today, online anonymity is beyond the imagination of early gamers.
Educate children about how anonymity can lead to harassment, exploitation and misinformation. Remind them that anonymous people sometimes feel encouraged to say or do things they wouldn’t otherwise do.
Talk about gambling expenses
Nowadays, players can spend real money to purchase accessories for their online games. Even kids want to buy Robux, the virtual currency of the popular game Roblox. Not only can these expenses have a real impact on finances, but they can also open the door to manipulation.
Remind children to never transact directly with another user but to go through the app. Never share credit card information or potential security questions such as the names of your pets.
Spend time on parental controls
When I was on TikTok, a friend complained to me about his young daughter watching videos of girls dancing in bikinis. I pointed out that the girl was too young for a TikTok account and the father said she was just using his account. It turns out these videos were what the algorithm knew it wanted to see.
Any content protection for children won’t work if parents don’t pitch in to use them. For example, I admire the parental controls on YouTube Kids. Preparing them for our kids takes some work upfront, but it’s worth it.
Use resources to help you
Parenting children engaged online becomes more complex every day. Fortunately, parents don’t have to do this alone. Teams like mine work proactively to reduce risk at a systemic level, while organizations also take a stand.
NetSmartz helps teens and their parents understand how to respond if they see inappropriate content online. Common Sense Media helps parents understand which movies, games and apps are appropriate for different ages, and Online Family Safety Institute has many good resources for parents.
I come from a family of police officers and have always felt a calling to serve and protect. I did it with the military, and I’m confident I’m doing it now by promoting online safety.