- I live in South Africa and my four best friends live in different countries.
- Although our friendships have been long distance for years, we have managed to stay close.
- Here is how we maintain our strong relationships, no matter where we live.
I live in South Africa and we do not make a savings here here – but I always know when time zones change. This is the difference of an additional hour when Talk to my closest friendsall scattered around the world.
At one point, I can tell you the time in Perth, where Ines lives. Ines and I have been friends since the fourth year (we had the same sharp, which was essentially a blood pact). Time is even easier to assess with others. An hour or two on the clock separates me from Bianca in Ireland, whether my name has been my friend since the age of 7; Jenna in the Netherlands, whom I have known since the age of 12; and Penny in England, who came to my life when I was 23 years old.
Years ago, they were all in South Africa and I could see one of them a given week. I did not consider myself lucky. I used to complain about traffic in the field, a fine after work to pay to see a friend. Now they are all On different continents. And it’s more lonely than what I expected.
Although I am grateful for the technological advances that made video calls so easier than they were just ten years ago (the Skype ringtone always evokes a slight trauma), it is painful to map a year in Hoping for a few hours with them. This year’s prospects are brilliant – I will see two of my friends. And I live for the time I have with them, feeling as if I released them for the last time yesterday. But that does not compensate for the harsh reality of the cross friendship formed in narrow districts.
I cry the loss of Get to know my friend’s new partner On frozen cocktails in the lazy summer heat. I cry the loss of looking at my oldest friend’s jolt through a screen with baby kicks that I don’t feel. I cried the loss maybe a few months ago when my father died, sending my world in free fall. They looked at his memorial via Livestream, sent flowers, ready -to -use meals and constant recording messages and calls, which meant so much … and I would have given moreover any What to have them to keep me together while I fell apart.
After decades to have friends far, I learned a few things that make the years between the slightly more bearable visits.
The author, on the left, went to a concert by Taylor Swift in Dublin with his friend Biana. With the kind permission of Tayla Balaire
Try planning calls in advance
Two of my close friends are doctors, so juggling the juggling of catching up their times on call can be difficult. Try to plan a few weeks in advance and cut you for an hour for a callingPlan it as a meeting to prevent life from embarrassment (it will still be, but planning helps).
To be realistic with expectations
From one of the My friends had a babyWe had to become much more flexible with our hours of call. Our catch -up of the seven o’clock marathon belong to the past. Instead, we opt for frequent checks, and it is she who calls when it is practical rather than calling when it is not the right time to answer.
Send gifts for milestones
I sent a pretty dress from South Africa to Ireland for a maternity shoot to the same friend who had a kitesurfer engraved on a necklace for me in memory of my father’s favorite sport. These small gifts can make such a difference when the distance seems too much.
The author, on the left, spent time with his friend Penny in the Cotswolds. With the kind permission of Tayla Balaire
Use photos and vocal notes as far as possible
I am a fan of text messages as long as tests, but I really like to see a vocal note appear. Between calls, I appreciate the vocal notes of my friends, even (perhaps especially) those who are super long. I also love to open my phone to a surprise photo, whether it is the spectacular sunset they appreciate or a smoking cup of Glühwein On a sparkling Christmas market. Send a message when you think about it.
Promote new friendships
Life of life phone is easy – and tempting – but this is not that most of our memories are made. Having so many close friends in other countries forced me to be more intentional to develop my friendships. I became closer to old friends and I did new ones too. Nothing beats the well -used familiarity of people who have known you forever, but there are special links to do if you give it a chance.