A psychologist explains science behind obtaining “the Ick”

Have you ever been to an appointment where everything seemed good, until they did this thing? Perhaps they had strange and unconvenient ways, used clarities of slang worthy of crime or chose an outfit for the date that revolted you inexplicably.

This visceral reaction, known as “Ick», Is an too familiar experience for many dates. It is sudden, involuntary and often impossible to shake. And now a 2025 study Since Personality and individual differences Confirms three key psychological factors that contribute to the Ick.

Here is what the researchers have found – and what they think “the Ick” really means.

What exactly is “IK”?

The term “ICK” has won a significant traction on social networks – especially among the young generations who use it to describe a sudden and irrational feeling of repulsion towards romantic interest.

Although this may seem to be a modern encounter phenomenon, the main authors of the study – Brian Collisson, Eliana Saunders and Chloé Yin – suggest that the ICK probably has much deeper evolutionary roots.

As the authors explained in a interview“The Ick” came from the evolution of disgust as a protective mechanism. ” They continued, clarifying: “First, it was against the disease, then it was in the selection of partners to help individuals avoid unwanted features. This aversion was always present, the only difference is that this generation gave it a name. »»

Millions of years ago, cave men and women probably obtained the ICK if their potential companion had a lack of survival skills, poor parental potential, physical deformations, poor hygiene or illness. Since illness, weakness or danger could destroy whole groups at the start of civilization, it was essential to deactivate these characteristics. As such, they probably avoided procreating with anyone at a distance “Icky”.

Today, however, the ICK seems very different – hilarious. However, at the base, each ICK represents a kind of “weakness”; In a way, they are modernly analogous to what our ancestors have probably considered improper for a potential partner.

According to the analyzes of researchers from viral tiktoks – in which users described their ICK – there were several categories. These understood, but without limiting themselves:

1. Incongruous genre. 40% of women and 13% of men were disabled by people who displayed behavior that was out of character for their sex. For example, a man quoted: “When she spits her gum in the trash like a guy”, while a woman quoted, “when he put his head on my shoulder.”
2. Public embarrassment. 28% of women and 21% of men were disabled by people who have publicly embarrassed. A man described being off-putting by “tripping girls”, while a woman described to be pushed by a man “shazam-id from a song while he was in a nightclub”.
3. Be too fashionable. 29% of men and 9% of women did not like when potential partners tried too much to engage in modern trends. For example, women did not like men who “tried too hard to integrate”, while men did not like women who were “in astrology”.
4. Physical appearance. 15% of men and 6% of women cited random problems with the physical appearance of others as an ICK. For example, a woman described being pushed by “seeing their buttocks by leaning”, while a man described to be extinguished by the fact that “his feet do not reach the ground” when she was Sitting.

Overall, the ICK takes many different forms. But, simply, it reflects a perceived minor character that becomes impossible to inevitent once noticed.

Researchers also found that women (75%) were much more likely to experience the ICK than men (57%). By reflecting on this, the researchers explained that it is probably a combination of social and biological factors: “From a biological point of view, women can make more due to parental investment.”

She continued: “However, social media is like a speaker that amplifies to create normalization. It can be a selection behavior of internalized partners which becomes validated by social strengthening. »»

Beyond gender and evolution, however, the question remains: why do some people experience the ICK much more than others? According to the study, three key psychological features play an important role:

1. Disgust sensitivity

Sensitivity to disgust refers to the strength of an individual reacts to things they find repellents, whether it is poor hygiene, in strange ways or certain social behaviors. The researchers found that a greater sensitivity to disgust was associated with both the probability and frequency of ICK’s experience.

Thus, people who have increased aversion to minor signals are more likely to reject a romantic partner on things that may seem trivial. Given that disgust has evolved as a protective mechanism, this suggests that the rejection thresholds of certain people are wired to be particularly high – which, of course, can make dating much more difficult.

2. Narcissism

Narcissism, in the context of this study, does not necessarily mean narcissistic personality disorder in its own right, but rather a tendency to self-import, the right and the need for admiration.

The study revealed that narcissism was correlated with the probability – but not the frequency – to live the Ick. This means that narcissistic individuals may not often get the Ick, but when they do, it is more likely to be because their partner does not align with their idealized self -image.

Since people with narcissistic trends often look for partners who raise their own social status, any perceived imperfection – regardless of size – could be rejection.

3. Perfectionism

Unlike narcissism, perfectionism was associated both with the probability and frequency of the ICK experience. This suggests that individuals with too rigid and high standards for partners tend to live the ICK more often – and more intense.

Perfectionists also have an idealized vision of what a relationship should look like and any deviation of this vision – whether the fashion choices of a partner, social clumsiness or minor quirks – could potentially be an examination.

Although high standards can have their advantages, excessive perfectionism makes long -term maintenance more difficult. As researchers explain, “there is an indication that” the IK “is less a real incompatibility, and more on unrealistic expectations and the deviation of an ideal partner.”

What “Ick” really means

The Basic Ick is both a social and psychological phenomenon. It can be an immediate intestinal reaction rooted in evolutionary instincts, but it can also be a cognitive bias that leads to self-sabotage dating habits.

The key here is the context. If you frequently live the ICK and with different partners, it may not be a sign that everyone with whom you are getting out are not suitable. In reality, it probably reflects an internal model that worth thinking about.

Having dating standards is important, but too rigid standards may make it impossible to find a partner that corresponds to your idea of ​​”compatible”. This little habit worthy of a hunt on which you are hyper -concentrating may not really mean that your partner is hopeless – it means that they are human, just like you.

We know that no one on Earth is really perfect, but our standards suppose the opposite. Worse, social media legitimizes these inaccessible criteria by validating minor extinguishes as constraints. In the real world, however, you cannot have a romantic relationship without learning to accept imperfections; The search for someone flawless will leave your hands empty.

In the end, ICK’s experience is more a neutral event than an intrinsically good or bad event – it simply depends on how you interpret it. If this prevents you from establishing a long-term relationship, it may be time to examine whether perfectionism or unrealistic expectations are annoying.

That said, if the Ick is persistent with a particular person, it might be useful to pay attention. Attraction is not always a clean balance between logic and lust; It also includes instincts and biology.

Thanks to the evolution, your mind and your body have evolved to detect subtle signs of compatibility – and if something about your partner is constantly off -putting, you can tell yourself that your subconscious tells you that they are not the Good adjustment.

Does your current partner give you “Ick”? Do this test supported by science and find out if it reflects something deeper: Relational satisfaction scale