PATE ANATOMY
Pole vaulter Anthony Ammirati of France became a viral sensation at the Paris Summer Games after bringing down the bar with his spandex bulge.
HE TAKES HIS WORK HOME
After the Pacers beat the Bucks for the fourth time last season, Giannis Antetokounmpo said, “When you go home and you sleep and you wake up, you think about it. When you go back to practice, you think about it… When you’re about to get weird at night, you think about it.
NO THANKS FOR MERSEY
The 11-year-old participant in a charity fundraiser was in tears after the two spot-kicks he took at half-time in a Chelsea-Liverpool match were saved in dives by the former United goalkeeper Reds David James, who told a British morning show host: “The problem is, Rick, I don’t allow penalties.
OH, THE PLACES YOU GO!
A player for Atletico Awajun, in a Peruvian professional football league, received a red card after appearing to urinate behind the corner flag.
Chuck roast
When asked why he spent $1,000 on pedicures, Shaquille O’Neal told Jimmy Fallon, “Because I feel sorry for the young lady who’s doing my feet.” No, really… my feet look like Charles Barkley’s face.
SINGLE DIGIT VICTORY
Australian field hockey player Matt Dawson has chosen to have the top of his injured right ring finger amputated rather than miss the Olympics.
MOOKIE WILSON
When Mookie Betts caught a foul ball against the wall in Game 4 of the World Series in New York, one Yankees fan opened the Dodgers outfielder’s glove while another stilled his pitching hand.
GRONK’S BOMBERS
Former Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski recognized the first fan as a “maniacal” University of Arizona buddy and praised him for “shining when your time came.”
THE CHANCES ARE NOT GOOD…
According to MLB investigators, infielder Tucupita Marcano, who in June was banned for life from the sport for betting on games while a member of the Pirates, won only 4.3 % of the 387 bets he placed.
…AND THE GOODS ARE STRANGE
The first 1,000 fans at the Altoona Curve game on April 13 received a Paul Skenes “bobblestache” doll with a swivel soup strainer.
NO END IN SIGHT
The Delta Center in Salt Lake City, home of the NHL’s Utah Hockey Club, offers 5,000 seats with no view of a single net.
WONDER OF SLEEVES
The jersey Babe Ruth wore during his “call shot” in the 1932 World Series sold at auction in August for $24,120,000.
MORTAL COMBAT
“It doesn’t stop until the coffin drops,” exclaimed NBC’s Snoop Dogg during a lengthy men’s doubles badminton rally at the Olympics.
LAV IS A LOSING GAME
At the U.S. Olympic trials, sprinter Kendall Ellis was confined in a porta-potty for 10 minutes before an employee heard her knock at the door and released her just before the start of the 400-meter semifinal.
I SEE TOMMY JOHN’S TOMMY JOHN
The thinner, lighter and cheaper MLB uniforms that Nike unveiled during spring training unintentionally featured see-through pants.
GET CARTER
A man accused of stealing a golf cart was apprehended by police after leading him on a low-speed vehicle chase through the streets of Pine Bluff, Ark.
LINCOLN MEMORIAL
A Nebraska regent has proposed burying the ashes of deceased Cornhuskers fans in a columbarium under the football field.
CITIZEN’S RIGHTS BRIGADE
After Vanderbilt upset football’s finest Alabama, fans tore down a goal post, paraded it through Nashville and threw it into the Cumberland River.
CHOCK FULL O’ NUTS
NWSL expansion team Bos Nation FC has apologized for its inauspicious rollout, which included the marketing phrase: “Old balls, new balls, steel balls, cold balls, goat balls… Too many balls.”
TOO MANY BULLETS
Without ever straying from his row in the second deck of the Oakland Coliseum, a fan at an A’s game caught three foul balls in a single inning.
Hold my beer
A Mariners fan sitting 330 feet from home plate in Seattle caught foul balls on two consecutive pitches in May.
ALL’S WELL THAT ENDS WELL
After being locked in a portable toilet before her semifinal at the U.S. Olympic Trials, 400-meter champion Kendall Ellis thanked her new corporate partner, Charmin, “for supporting me all the way to the edge of the track.”
PRESCRIPTION STATUS
The Heat unveiled a statue of Dwyane Wade that looked so much like the Hall of Fame guard that upon seeing it he asked, “Who is this guy?”
SEA COUCH IMMEDIATELY
A 42-year-old man was arrested after throwing a naked cannonball into the 24,000-gallon aquarium centrally located at a Bass Pro Shops in Leeds, Alabama.
JUMP A STRAIGHT LINE
A 25-year-old man in a kangaroo costume was arrested in October on suspicion of impaired driving after crashing into the boards of a Zamboni while resurfacing the ice at an ice rink in Quebec.
BEFORE HITTING YOURSELF IN A FIFTH ROUND BRAWL
Catcher Danny Jansen hit the Blue Jays against the Red Sox in June and, after a rain postponement, a trade to Toronto and a return to play two months later, took over in the same inning for the Red Sox vs. Blue Jays.
LUCY IS NOT NICE TO DIAMONDS
In his debut as a bat dog for the Clearwater Threshers of the Florida State League, a Labrador retriever named Lucy sprinted past the bat near the on-deck circle and zoomed around the infield before defecating on the bat. grass behind the pitcher’s mound.
GRISLY ADAMS
Musher Dallas Seavey won a record sixth Iditarod in March despite a two-hour penalty for insufficiently eviscerating the moose he shot to defend his dogs on the first day of the 1,000-mile sled race in Alaska.
THE SECOND BIGGEST FIASCO WHITE SOCKS OF 2024
Thirty-three thousand fans suffered a half-hour delay before Arsenal’s match at Chelsea in the Women’s Super League as the visitors, wearing white socks like their hosts, changed into black socks purchased from the megastore from Chelsea.
FIFTY WAYS TO LOSE YOUR LEVERAGE
As owner Jerry Reinsdorf sought a billion dollars in public funding for a new stadium, the White Sox lost 121 games, a modern record that included separate losing streaks of 12, 14, and 21 games.
NO REGRETS
Before Detroit lost the NFC Championship Game to the 49ers, a 43-year-old Michigan man with a 2024 Super Bowl Champions Lions tattoo said People: “I have never been so sure of anything. I just knew they would go through with it and I knew I had to get the tattoo.
RESUSCITATION OF SHELLFISH
After a postal worker choked on a lobster roll during an eating competition in Meredith, New Hampshire, and was Heimliched by the state’s governor and a paramedic, he quickly started eating again.
QUIT EATING SAND
There were 653 emergency calls, 211 ejections and 54 arrests at the Phoenix Open, where a shirtless spectator ran into a bunker near the 16th green and made sand angels before fleeing security.
NETFLIX AND SICK
In September, Joey Chestnut ate 83 hot dogs in 10 minutes to beat his previous world record by seven hot dogs during the Netflix live special. Chestnut vs. Kobayashi: Unfinished Beef.
SIGNED, WITH MUSTARD, WITH A FLATULENT SQUEEZE BOTTLE
The paper napkin on which an Argentine agent scribbled the 2000 deal to sell 13-year-old Lionel Messi to Barcelona has sold at auction for $965,000.
IN THE DRIVE-THRU OF A DUNKIN’
The last of eight bulls that escaped a rodeo held in the parking lot of a Massachusetts shopping center was captured, more than 24 hours later, on US Highway 1.
JAGRHEÏSTER
Nineteen thousand figurine dolls bearing the likeness of retired Penguins star Jaromir Jagr were stolen by merchandise thieves in March and recovered nearly two weeks later by a joint task force of agents from the FBI and the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department.