Photo provided
Anneli Byrd
Ha! I knew it! I knew there was something ladle in exercise and now I have science to prove it!
I am sure that everyone has slowed down or acceleration. Meetings that involve graphics and organizational charts exert a powerful gravitational well which slows down time that these meetings should automatically obtain the remuneration for overtime, while Happy Times Zoom in a flash. There are many activities that slow down time, queuing the DMV or that the teeth are drilled for example, but these events (I hope!) Are not part of its normal routine.
No, the worst offender of my book is exercise. Not only does the exercise slows down clocks, but this is supposed to occur frequently, even daily. This is a case of endless misery.
For my needs here, exercise does not include fun activities that involve physical movement. I’m talking about exercise for exercise. Something that suits strength or endurance supposedly. Or worse, strength and endurance and flexibility.
Is there something more boring than stretching? I am supposed to make a set of three stretches of 30 seconds per leg. In theory, this should increase up to a minute and a half each. Maybe a place they do, but not on earth. On Earth, I stand there with my leg on a chair for what must be at least an hour. My husband Dave likes to torment me under the guise of “helping” if he sees me put my leg.
“It was not 30 seconds!”
“It was more than 30 seconds!”
“Not even close. Look, I’m going to time. Come on.”
I fold my leg.
“No! Don’t relax yet. Keep him stretched!”
“I receive a cramp, and time must be standing!”
“It’s only 8 seconds.”
“No, this is not the case! Your watch stopped.”
“My watch is fine. Keep your leg upstairs! ”
I look at his watch that stopped.
“I can prove it. It took more than 30 seconds to have this conversation! ”
“If you just stopped fighting it and you were doing it, it wouldn’t be that bad.”
“Who’s fights?” I do it, right? ”
“Oh brother,” said Dave with a huge jet of the eyes. “There. Finished. Come back here! You still have two other sets on this leg! ”
Meanwhile, television advertising has lengthened to match the stretching time, and I feel a powerful desire to buy Liberty mutual insurance.
Exercise videos are not better. I was tempted to deactivate the sound on a “fun” aerobic dance training and put a Learn Audio program. I bet that I could speak fluently for a week or two with the time that these so-called “30-minute” training sessions take.
But now I know that the exercise time is not only a fruit of my imagination. I came across the fishing of an article in the Guardian magazine, with this intriguing title: “People who do an intense exercise of experience, the discoveries of the study.” Hot-Dog!
Of course, I could have told them that – and deadlines for the moderate time.
But now I know I’m not alone. Others have been sufficiently irritated by the phenomenon to carry out formal research like Ian Sample, the scientific publisher cited in several studies.
A study had three groups of people on exercise bikes. Some have mounted solo, some had a virtual avatar for the company, others were invited to beat the avatar. It didn’t matter.
“People perceive time as evolving more slowly during the exercise,” said Andrew Edwards, professor of psychology at the University of Canterbury Christ Church in Kent, and the first author of the study.
And that? You no longer need to ride in a spacecraft that approaches the speed of light to feel the effect of time dilation. You can just put your leg on a chair and count at 30.
Ready? One, Deuxoooooo, third third
It just shows that the old joke is true. If you do the exercise, you may not live any longer, you just feel like it.