Photo-illustration: by cutting; Photos: Getty Images
When Anjali obtained a promotion last year, she did not intend to change anything in her life, even if her new position (artistic director associated in an advertising agency) came with a 20%increase. She is 28 years old and had never been able to save a lot of money, so she thought she would finally start. “I always felt like I was scratching and I wanted to have more security,” she says.
But in a few months, she had trouble paying her bills again, and she couldn’t understand why. If anything, she came out less Due to the requirements of her new job, and she had made no splashing purchase – just a few online orders, mainly clothes to wear in the office. When she looked at her bills, however, she realized that she was doing shopping much more than she thought.
“It’s embarrassing, but I bought a ton of things online,” she said. “By scrolling my costs, it was $ 30 here, $ 80 there, adding to hundreds.” She tried to put a lid on it but found it more difficult to break the habit than she had planned. “I really liked to get home for new things,” she says. “After a long day, I would be delighted to open the door of my building, like, like Ooh, I wonder what came by post.“A $ 30 shirt was not going to break his budget, after all. But five of them? “I still work to master it,” she says.
Life style cread – The tendency to increase your expenses as your income increases, little by little – is a well documented phenomenon and notoriously difficult to reverse. But it is even more difficult to brake when being online (especially on social networks) means that you are shopping mainly all the time. “Our social lives and our jobs are all online now, mixed with trade,” says Kristina DurantePsychologist and marketing teacher at La Rutgers Business School. “We want to be involved, we want to belong and we want to feel in control of our world. And when these desires are transparently linked to things that you can buy right on your phone, of course, that’s what you are going to do.”
It is not necessary to know that many people feel bad in their online jump habits, but here they are anyway. And research shows that it gets worse: the pandemic Online addictive behaviors exacerbatedIncluding the game and compulsive purchases, especially among young people. Even after the world has opened its doors, these models are largely stuck – especially for Those who spend a lot of time on social networks. In A recent surveyAbout 60% of Americans aged 18 to 42 admitted having made a recent impulsive purchase via social media; From this group, most of them regret it.
It is one thing to treat you on a whim (which does not need the beautiful occasional distraction in this dumpster fire, etc.). But it is another thing to do it regularly in a way that works against your own interest. As The recession fears the loom profession And the world seems darker and darkerAnjali felt more and more worried about his expenses. “I went home with packages that I forgot that I had ordered. Then, I open my bank account and I see that it is lower than I thought, and it makes me stressed, and therefore I return everything. But then, a few weeks later, it reproduced, “she says. “I’m frustrated because I feel like I can’t trust myself.”
Many people would reject these trends as a lack of self -discipline; Just put your phone and stop. But the real cause is much more insidious, says Durante. “The decision to buy stuff, it happens so quickly now that it is hardly aware,” she explains. “When you are constantly online, especially on social networks or by reading the news, the part of your brain that helps you self -regulate is extremely exhausted. It is much more difficult to think in a critical way to know if you make a good choice or not.”
Most people associate dependence on purchase with serious financial problems. But there is a larger gray area of people who Buy more than they would like And, even if they are not in debt, find it difficult to live according to their means, explains Jen Smith, co-author of Buy what you like without breaking. “My main fight right now is that I am doing these little purchases because I have the impression that I deserve them,” she said. “Some people would say:” You don’t deserve it if you can’t afford it. “But we all sometimes deserve beautiful things.
Of course, we are not full slaves to consumption – we have free will to help us, even if it requires additional tools. Here, Durante and Smith share their advice to slow down the slippery slope of online expenses.
Since the use of social media tends to be correlated with impulsive purchasesSometimes you have to stop the temptation at its source, explains Durante. “I will often delete the applications of my phone for a few weeks, then I will come back,” she said.
You can also try to make an in -depth absence of your flow. If you notice that someone sells you something or puts you in the mood for shopping, affecting or unsubscribing it. “There is no more influence than the people you love, nor the people you think are Like, “said Durante.” Think about Tupperware: it took off because people had Tupperware holidaysAnd their friends came and bought Tupperware because they knew each other and wanted to belong. Now we have the equivalent of a hundred Tupperware holidays per day on our phones. »»
If you have not sold to withdraw or cut – say that you should use social media for work purposes – then at least, disconnect your credit card information from your phone. “Seamless payments are sometimes a lifeline, but they are also a huge facilitator of impulsive stores,” explains Smith. “Any friction that you can create there to force yourself to take more time before buying something is positive.”
“I am a psychologist and I know exactly how marketing works, but I connect and my brain is still prey to it,” explains Durante. “I see things that seem to help me have a little more control in an incredibly uncontrollable world – like, like, Oh, this person has a LED facial mask, maybe I should try this – And it’s difficult to go back. It also serves as a dressing when you feel outdated. Make an appointment with the doctor. Store your office, “she suggests.” When I work at home, I sometimes keep a clean linen basket on the kitchen table and I will fold it. “”
Smith also recommends sending SMS to a friend. “Often, when I am tempted to shop, it is that I really want to feel a feeling of connection,” she says. It may seem easy, but reaching out to a group cat helps instead. You can even keep a list of people you want to catch up (or must be emails) for a quick reference – everything to make it easier to follow.
Sometimes it’s too late – you have stores, you clicked on something, and it looks great. You want it. It is not that Dear. Why not? You are tired. The news is horrible. It will make you feel a little better – maybe even a plot better. “If you are in the point where you are going to press this button, dig a little more,” explains Durante. “When you operate in this rapid and instinctive part of the brain, you do not think analytically. You want to engage your ability to reason and assess.”
This is where it can help read criticism, look at real photos or ask for recommendations from his friends, explains Durante. “An outfit can look great on the model, photographed and retouched professional, but when you see photos that people have posted themselves in the same clothes, you realize that it does not really seem how you think,” she said. “Taking this time to withdraw you can make you realize that you don’t want it after all.”
Shopping is fun and budgeting is not. But if you can create small financial challenges for yourself – like no spending days, days with low expenditure or save a certain amount each week – it looks less like a punishment and more like a reward, explains Durante. “Another idea is to create limits around your purchases is not a forbidden activity. Maybe you can order one thing per week, or a thing per month.” In this way, it always looks like a treat – even more one – without becoming uncontrollable.
We all know that retailers do not sell you things by the kindness of their hearts. They are trying to make you buy their products so that they can make a profit. It is not intrinsically malicious, but the Targeted and operating marketing tactics They use to stay competitive can be extremely destructive for your finances, your attention, your privacy and your feeling of well-being. And you are right to get annoyed about it, says Smith.
“If anger can feed your anti-consumption, I think it’s healthy,” she says. “You don’t want to live in a place of rage all the time, but a major to these retailers is a good thing.”
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