Many children and adolescents look forward to the holidays with great enthusiasm, but others find it a difficult time of year, filled with anxiety, stress and solitude.
It’s something Alisa Simon, youth manager at Kids Help Phone, says she monitors when school takes a break for winter break, noting: “We’re seeing an increase in the number of young people coming to us contact”.
Mental health professionals point to several reasons why emotional well-being may be affected in some children and adolescents during the holidays: family stressors, pressure to act “happy”, less time spent with friends, stress related to upcoming high school exams in January and general problems. lack of light at this time of year.
They suggest parents encourage open communication during the holidays and monitor any significant changes in their children’s behavior.
Kids Help Phone data reveals 816,650 phone, text and online messages with children and young people between November 1 and December 31, 2023, compared to 779,734 in July and August of the same year.
“A lot of young people can feel really lonely during the holidays,” Simon said.
“If your family is not a place where you feel safe or connected, this can make the situation very stressful for some young people and it can also isolate them from those they are connected to, if it acts from their friends or their community at school. »
Simon said children and adolescents also feel “financial or family stress or heightened emotions that may arise around (their) families.”
“We all put so much pressure on ourselves during the holidays, especially if we have young ones, to try to make it the best vacation of our lives,” she said.
Dr. Sandra Newton, a clinical and educational psychologist in the Durham region, east of Toronto, said this kind of pressure can be difficult for children and youth, especially if they have an existing mental illness like anxiety or depression.
She said some people pretend to be “tall” and “model children” if they think they are expected to be cheerful.
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“One of the best things we can teach children is that we can integrate all aspects of ourselves. There’s room for you no matter what tough times you’re going through,” Newton said.
“(It) doesn’t have to be perfect. It is the presence (of children) that we value. It is their participation in family activities that we value, even if it has to be a little different, even if there are necessary breaks.
Children and teens who are receiving treatment for a mental health issue often don’t have access to their therapist, and many of them take a break during the holidays, Newton said.
Families should plan to normalize conversations about their child’s mental health issues before the holidays begin.
“(The parent might say) ‘Hey, could I just check in with you a few times?’ …How can I do this when I don’t feel intrusive or annoying? I’m here to help,” Newton suggested.
“Very often (children are) worried to the point of putting a burden on their caregiver by sharing that things are difficult,” she said.
“They blame themselves for having something on their plate that they didn’t ask for. But we can confirm that it is difficult. They are doing their best, and sometimes they will need that caregiver to take an extra step to increase their support.
Parents and children can also find other sources of support, whether it’s a family member, a friend or a helpline, she said.
Dr. Kevin Gabel, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at North York General Hospital, said regular communication with children is essential, noting that November was a busy month for pediatric mental health visits.
He said seasonal depression can begin in November or December, as the days become shorter and darker.
School also tends to become more stressful, especially if exams are coming up in the new year, Gabel said.
He said it’s important for parents to talk with their children and teens “and really let them express their feelings in a safe, understanding, non-judgmental way.”
“It can be tempting to try to jump in directly and solve every problem (but) sometimes even just listening, showing that you understand can be very powerful and empowering,” Gabel said.
If some children don’t say what’s bothering them, pay attention to changes in behavior, Gabel and Newton said.
Big mood swings, withdrawal, refusal to do activities they usually enjoy are all potential signs of problems if they persist for several days, Gabel said.
The death of a loved one can make the holidays a particularly difficult time for children and youth.
“Holidays are times of gathering and family. And if your family is different this year, it’s going to be difficult,” Newton said.
“Young people may feel alone dealing with this sense of loss or watching their caregivers deal with it.
Simon said it was important for parents and carers to acknowledge their grief to their children.
“Sometimes as caregivers we try to hide our own sadness because we see it as a burden on the young people in our lives,” she said.
“(They need to know) it’s okay to have these feelings. It’s okay to cry and be sad and talk about it,” Simon said.
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